A guidebook for Gay and Bi Men over 40

Embrace Your Journey: Discover, Accept, and Celebrate You!

Book Cover for Being Seen: Coming Out After 40

Have you been hiding your true self for decades? Do you feel trapped living a lie in the closet? Are you ready to finally embrace your identity but scared it's "too late?"

Has coming out as a Gay or Bi man wrecked your life?

You are not alone.

Coming out later in life comes with immense challenges - fear, shame, lost time, unsupportive loved ones. The path can seem impossible. But there is another way. A way to live openly, find self-love, and discover community.

Introducing the Groundbreaking Guide Giving Gay & Bi Men the Courage to Come Out and Live Authentically

This first-of-its-kind book by LGBTQIA advocate Trey Malicoat guides you through the coming-out and integration process with compassion, wisdom, and practical support.

Trey understands the struggles intimately. After hiding his identity for 39 years, Trey courageously came out - only to face rejection, discrimination, and losing his children.

Now happily living authentically, Trey is committed to helping other gay and bisexual men come out and live confidently after 40.

Order the Book Today!

About the Author:
Trauma to Triumph

Before I wrote Being Seen, I spent over 25 years as a therapist and personal growth coach, walking alongside LGBTQIA individuals who were battling shame, depression, trauma, and thoughts of suicide. I didn't just sympathize with their struggles; I intimately understood their pain because I had lived it.

Growing up in an environment of secrecy and fear within a strictly religious family, I knew I was gay from a very young age. Yet, I buried my true self beneath layers of suppression, all in a desperate bid to earn my family's love and approval.

The agony of concealing my identity became unbearable, and at the age of 39, I made the courageous decision to come out, despite the daunting risks. What awaited me was the harsh reality of rejection, discrimination, and the heartbreaking loss of my children in a bitter divorce. My own father disowned me, declaring that "he died the day he came out."

Devastation struck hard, but with the unwavering support of a few cherished loved ones, I embarked on the difficult journey of rebuilding my life. Today, I proudly and authentically live as an openly gay man, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

My life's purpose has evolved, and now, I dedicate myself to helping others sidestep the painful pitfalls I encountered and summon the courage to live authentically. My book, Being Seen, distills the wisdom I've gathered over decades of guiding individuals who, like you, seek their true selves.

One reader shared their profound experience, exclaiming,

"Trey writes with boundless compassion and infuses hope into every word. His book gave me the trust and strength to come out to my family. My only regret is not having read it 20 years sooner!"

Join me on this journey of healing and self-discovery, and together, let's inspire authenticity. Share your story and connect with others using the hashtag #BeingSeen.

Take a Look Inside the Book

Introduction and Identity Exploration:

Introduction
Redefining How We View Major Change
Don't Call Me a Late Bloomer
Appear as Straight as You Can
Embrace Your Unique Journey: Breaking Free from Binary Thinking
Your New Identity: Researcher
Your Heterosexual Reference Point
Living Authentically in a Heteronormative World
Straight and Gay Are Not the Same
How “Straight” Is Your Thinking?
Guilt, Shame, and Inauthenticity: The Journey to Self-Acceptance
Rediscovering Self-Love: A Journey Through Shame
Confronting Regrets and Self-Blame
Challenging Stereotypes as a Gay or Bisexual Man

LGBTQIA History and Culture:

My Cultural Observations: Navigating the Fragmented World of Gay Culture
LGBTQIA History and Activism: Celebrating Milestones and Inspiring Change
The Transformational Journey from the Closet to Authenticity
Embracing Authenticity: Redefining Masculinity, Femininity, and Breaking Free from Toxic Norms

Personal Development and Resilience:

The Fantasy We Create
Making Yourself More Resilient: Skills for facing challenges
Navigating the Path of Self-Discovery: Coming Out and Its Impact on Relationships

Practical Considerations:

Legal Aspects and Practical Considerations
Sexual Health: Navigating HIV, STDs, Anal Sex, Lubrication, and Erectile Dysfunction
Navigating Roles, Stereotypes, and Body Image in Gay Culture

Body Image and Self-Esteem: Embracing Your Authentic Self
Aging Gracefully: Embracing the Journey
How to Avoid Having Your Gay Card Revoked: A Satirical Guide to Embracing LGBTQIA Culture

Exploration of LGBTQIA Subcultures:

The Art of Drag: Embracing History, Significance, and Performance
The Symbols of Gay Culture: From Pride to the Hanky Code
Understanding the Leather Community: Embracing Kink, Power Dynamics, and Consent
Embracing Fetishism and Kink: Exploring Diverse Desires for Pleasure

Dating, Relationships, and Sexuality:

Navigating the Dating Scene: Suggestions for Making the Process Easier
Unveiling the Impact of Hook-Up Culture for Gay and Bisexual Men
Poppers, Meth, Alcohol, Maximum Impact
Things Gay Guys Say During Sex
Sexual Acronyms, Abbreviations, and Terms You Are Likely to See or Hear

Social and Advocacy Issues:

Sex Positivity: Dismantling Heteronormativity as a Form of Personal and Social Advocacy
Navigating Ideological Incongruencies: Aligning Politics and Gay Identity

Practical Guidance and Conclusion:

The First 100 Days After Coming Out: Practical Tips of Great Importance
Conclusion: Embracing Your Journey of Authenticity

Additional Resources

References
Index
Resources for Deeper Understanding
Being Seen: Coming Out After 40 Journaling Guide
About The Author

120-Prompt Journaling Guide Included

The Power of Journaling!

As a supplement to the book, enjoy your comprehensive journaling guide.

Writing prompts for deeper exploration and healing:

Over 120 prompts to inspire your self-discovery.

These are the questions I use with my gay and bisexual clients; I know they will be helpful for you!

This Book Will Teach You

How to overcome internalized shame and self-doubt
Skills to manage anxiety, grief, and emotional overwhelm
Ways to disclose to unsupportive friends and family
Guidance on dating, intimacy, and sexual health
A dictionary of sexual acronyms
Resources to find community, events, groups, and healthcare
Inspiring stories from Trey's clients reclaiming their lives
Trey also shares his pioneering Restoration Model to address mental health struggles and facilitate lasting healing.

This book provides the complete roadmap to live openly and wholly as your true self - no matter your age.

Real Stories From Men Like You

Trey Malicoat has been instrumental in helping countless men come out later in life and embrace their authentic selves. Their real stories reflect the courage it takes to come out after 40.

"I was married with kids when I came out in my early forties. My family disowned me and I lost everything familiar overnight. Trey's compassion helped me rebuild my life on my own terms."

Greg P., Chicago

"Coming from a conservative family, I thought being gay meant losing my community. Trey showed me I could create a chosen family who loved me unconditionally."

Alex T., Houston

"Trey supported me through intense anxiety and depression after coming out. His healing model taught me self-love and resilience."

Darren S., San Francisco

Do You Relate?

If you relate to any of the following, this book is for you:

You are a gay or bisexual man over 40, married or unmarried
You feel trapped and isolated, living a lie to please others
You experience shame, depression, or regret about hiding your identity
You dream of living happily but are scared you waited too long
You have come out and are lost in the gay community
You are searching for a path to peace and joy

Your journey to authenticity and self-love starts here

You Will Discover

How to overcome internalized shame and self-doubt
Navigating disclosure to unsupportive loved ones
Exploring sexuality and relationships authentically
Building community among LGBTQIA peers
Protecting your rights and interests
Managing anxiety, grief, depression, and loss
Embracing your identity fully - it's never too late!

This book is packed full of great info, including a Sexual Acronym Guide

This Book Will Change You

This Compassionate Guide Will Equip You To:

Release years of shame, unworthiness, and denial
Discover community among LGBTQIA peers
Develop emotional tools to manage grief, depression, and traumatic responses from loved ones
Protect your legal and financial rights
Explore dating, intimacy, and relationships authentically
Heal from past religious or cultural sources of shame
Rewrite internalized negative narratives
Navigate coming out to unaccepting or manipulative loved ones
Cultivate lifelong pride and advocate for others